One day I came home from work and hopped onto my epic computer. It could run Counter Strike Global Offensive at a whopping 45 FPS. Impressed? Yeah, you should be you bloody twat.
Anyway, I was about to hop on and play some games. I'm a Silver 4, which is pretty good for someone like me with about 150 hours. Anyway, just as I was about to start the game, I saw a file on my desktop. It was curious. It was named "Poobum.jpeg". I thought it was bloody crude, but whatever.
I right-clicked the file and clicked properties. Apparently it was created 7 seconds ago. Great. Out of curiosity, I opened it. It was a picture of feces in a toilet. Now normally I'd be turned on as I have a massive scat fetish. However, I was immediately disgusted. Then, all of a sudden my computer crashed. I thought that was odd. I tried to restart it but it just kept crashing. I decided something was wrong with my computer.
I got an anti-static wrist strap and a screwdriver and delved right into my CPU. I unscrewed the screws and opened the case.
Holy shit, no wonder my computer wasn't working! The entire CPU was filled with fecal matter! The smell was overwhelming, and I felt like throwing up. I was about to clean the feces out of my CPU, but then the fecal sea rose. Feces was being dispensed from my CPU fast. And faster... And faster. Well, I had a mess to clean up.
So I was about to clean it up but the feces just kept on coming from my CPU. Then eventually my entire room was covered in feces. I drowned in the feces and died.
Don't open poobum.jpeg. It stinks. Literally